To A Girl In Trouble . . .

Things I'd tell and questions I would ask an acquaintance of mine IF I could take her out for coffee:

1. You can't CHANGE him no matter how much you think you love HIM.

2. REAL MEN don't need you to be making excuses for them all the time, they have a godly character that can stand on it's own-- it does not need defending!

3. He does not really LOVE you, if he did you'd already be his wife.

4. If he really wanted the best for you he would not stand by while you experience this kind of ANGUISH (that's not what love does.)

5. Commitment and devotion are vital for a lifetime of marriage. If he is DATING OTHER GIRLS before you even marry him what do you think your marriage will be like? What do you think it feels like to lie in bed and wonder if your husband is in the arms of another at 2:00a.m. when he's not home?

5. Does jail sound like fun to you? That's where you'll be when you're charged with aiding a criminal in a drug deal gone wrong.

6. When he's done with you (if you manage to escape jail time) raising 2+ children on your own will not be fun. The life of a single mom is far from glam, it usually means long hours at work while a sitter has your children and barely enough money to get by.

7. He is CONTROLING you-- it may seem charming now but wait until he decides who you talk to, where you go, and what you wear!

8. Your family DOES LOVE you--they really, really want the best for you, no part of this is easy or fun for them!

9. Jesus bought YOU for a price so that you could be called a child of God. Are you sure that THIS is what he bought you for?

10. Lots of us have dated even (shudder) almost married losers-- so if you feel stupid right now you are certainly not alone! It is a long and absolutely heart wrenching thing to recover from, there were times when I thought the pain would get the best of me. Weeks went by when I didn't see him at all -- I would start to make progress then I would see him or talk to him and be back at square one again. There was a time when I could not imagine my life without him, I thought that I Knew more than my family and friends who wanted me to move on. I was convinced that they just didn't know the REAL him or that they were being judgemental. In the end-- what I realized is that I was the one who needed to see the REAL him!

11. I wish that I could have been sent away and given the gift of time to heal, you have been an unimaginable blessing --use it!!